


falling like the sun at 7pm

by timeofsorrow



Category: VICTON (Band)
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - College/University, And he never says it again LOL, Angst, Chan and Sejun are Annoying As Fuck lol, Childhood Friends, Friends to Lovers, Idk whether to include angst in this or not but, Jung Subin Has General Anxiety Disorder, Jung Subin centric, M/M, Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings, Smut, Spanking, Subin says "daddy" like once but it's a joke, This Got Deeper Than It Was Supposed To, Years of Sexual Tension Go Out The Window
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-21
Updated: 2020-07-21
Packaged: 2021-03-05 02:22:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,830
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25376857
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/timeofsorrow/pseuds/timeofsorrow
Summary: Hanse, Subin's best friend, spanks him as a joke, but now no one is laughing.
Relationships: Do Hanse/Jung Subin
Comments: 14
Kudos: 133
Collections: Lucky 7 Victon





	falling like the sun at 7pm

**Author's Note:**

> I filled the prompt #295. The title is taken from _"Because of You"_ by Victon.

Eleven years.

They’ve been best friends for eleven years.

So why is he freaking out over this?  
  


* * *

  
  
The date. He remembers the fucking date. That's how hung up over it he is.

It was May tenth—a Sunday night. He attended an end-of-the-semester party hosted by one of the popular sophomores of the university’s men’s basketball team. 

He had only gone because his roommate Chan needed a ride there. Subin had a car. Chan didn’t. Subin wasn’t even doing anything remotely important that night—or the next morning—so Chan didn’t see the harm in him tagging along. Subin had begrudgingly agreed. So they arrived together.

Taking advice from Chan was probably his _biggest_ mistake.

And if remembering the date was bad? Fuck, he even remembers the _God damned time._ He remembers glancing at the digital numbers on the stovetop in the kitchen _right_ before everything went down. Right before Hanse did _that._

The moment is so vivid in his mind. Like it happened just a day ago. A few hours ago. Five seconds ago. But in reality... it’s been a month. A month and six days to be exact—and he _still_ can’t get his mind off it.

“It” being Hanse—his best friend of _eleven fucking years_ —slapping Subin’s butt so hard that it made Subin stumble forward before yelling, “Ass looking ripe tonight in those tight leather pants, Jung!”

Embarrassing? Yeah. It would have been if anyone else had been paying attention. But no one was. Nope. Just Jung Subin. 

And now you’re probably wondering, well, okay. That’s normal. They’re best friends. They’re comfortable with one another to play around like that. What’s the deal with Subin then? Why is he stuck on that?

Subin’s problem is… Well. He liked it. He liked the feeling of being hit like that. And, no. Of course, that isn’t something to be so up in the clouds about. People like what they like. He knows that.

What’s fucking killing him is not that he liked it, but that he liked when Hanse did it.

The problem was _Hanse_ —his best friend.

_He wanted his best fucking friend to spank him._  
  


* * *

  
  
Subin is peering down at his phone as he chews nervously on his bottom lip.  
  
  
  


**sese**

Wanna’ meet up  
later today at our  
usual spot? ^^  
_Sent 11:22 AM  
Read 12:39 PM_

He stares at the text in silence. It glares back at him with a false sense of an intense aura. He’s pretty sure he’s been rereading the same letters for five minutes now. Why does he feel so threatened by these words? His heart is pounding. His mind is racing. And he’s pretty sure he’s _sweating_ , for fuck’s sake. He’s seriously so fucked.

It’s been a long while since he and Hanse have been able to hang out in the past month. But now Subin’s just been making excuses, hiding from Hanse by claiming he has to work late or study early. It’s messed up. He knows. He’s going to get caught, and it’ll be ugly. And he works at the university’s library too, so he knows his façade is going to slip away once the semester comes to an end.

Subin sighs harshly and groans. He sets his phone down as the screen fades to black and runs his hands over his face a few times. Then he digs the bottom part of his palms into his eyes as he exhales loudly. After a minute of sitting in that position, he drops his hands, picks up his phone again, and turns it on. He stares at the words once more.  
  
  
  


_Wanna’ meet up later today at our usual spot? ^^_

Subin whines loudly to himself as he finally begins typing his response. He knows he’s going to regret this later. But he doesn’t know what to do with his feelings right now.

He doesn’t want to face Hanse yet. He can’t. Not until he’s sure of what he should do so he doesn’t fuck something up. He’s running away. He knows he is. 

_'But it's okay,'_ he tells himself. _'I just need some time to get over this and everything will go back to normal. Just trust yourself. It'll be okay.'_  
  
  
  


**sese**

Sorry, can't today  
:-/ Stuck on  
shelving duty ‘til 7  
\- _ -  
_Sent 12:54 PM_

Rain check on  
that? :’-)  
_Sent 12:54 PM_

Subin stares at his sent messages for a minute wearing a complete blank expression.

God, he fucking hates himself for this.  
  


* * *

  
  
He's not feeling better about it three days later.  
  
  
  


**sese**

Checking in on  
that rain check  
_Sent 02:22 PM  
Read 02:34 PM_

I'm @ the mall rn  
_Sent 02:22 PM  
Read 02:34 PM_

Joining me?  
_Sent 02:22 PM  
Read 02:34 PM_

Gdi  
_Sent 02:34 PM_

If you asked 3  
hours earlier, I  
would've came  
😔  
_Sent 02:34 PM_

I'm working  
someone else's  
shift atm :-(  
_Sent 02:34 PM_

Maybe next week?  
_Sent 02:34 PM_

* * *

  
  
Or a week later.  
  
  
  


**sese**

Hey, u free  
anytime this  
week???  
_Sent 06:17 PM  
Read 06:19 PM_

Uhhh, let me  
check my  
schedule  
_Sent 06:19 PM  
Read 06:19 PM_

Ok 👁️  
 _Sent 06:19 PM  
Read 06:25 PM_

[image attached]  
_Sent 06:25 PM  
Read 06:26 PM_

Ok, no :-((I’m  
working every day  
this week during  
the afternoon  
_Sent 06:25 PM  
Read 06:26 PM_

But I’ll be free  
on the weekend!  
_Sent 06:25 PM  
Read 06:26 PM_

I work on the  
weekends tho,  
rmbr?  
 _Sent 06:26 PM  
Read 06:27 PM_

Oh, yeah 😬  
_Sent 06:27 PM  
Read 06:28 PM_

I’m sorry :-(  
_Sent 06:27 PM  
Read 06:28 PM_

I swear, I’ll make  
it up to you  
_Sent 06:27 PM  
Read 06:28 PM_

lol dw abt it  
 _Sent 06:28 PM  
Read 06:28 PM_

It's nbd  
_Sent 06:28 PM  
Read 06:28 PM_

We'll hang out  
when the time  
comes  
_Sent 06:28 PM  
Read 06:28 PM_  
  
  
  
  
  


* * *

  
  
Not even a week and a half later.  
  
  
  


**sese**

Yo look  
[image attached]  
_Sent 03:01 PM  
Read 03:01 PM_

Holy shit  
_Sent 03:01 PM  
Read 03:01 PM_

You coming?  
 _Sent 03:01 PM  
Read 03:05 PM_

OTL  
_Sent 03:05 PM  
Read 03:05 PM_

You wouldn’t  
believe it  
_Sent 03:05 PM  
Read 03:05 PM_

But I literally  
JUST clocked  
into work  
_Sent 03:06 PM  
Read 03:06 PM_

I hate this  
_Sent 03:06 PM  
Read 03:06 PM_

It’s ok  
 _Sent 03:06 PM  
Read 03:10 PM_

I’ll take photos  
for you 😉😏  
_Sent 03:06 PM  
Read 03:10 PM_

You’re so mean  
:-(  
_Sent 03:10 PM_

* * *

  
  
The semester is reaching its end.

Jung Subin is also reaching his end.

He can’t keep up with the excuses anymore. Not only because of his job but also because he just can’t stand the way he’s lying to Hanse.

Hanse has unsurprisingly asked him once again about hanging out together. Subin was unsurprisingly once again going to make up a dumb excuse not to go. But then he remembered how many times he’d already done that. Then immediately felt terrible with a sense of dread and guilt in the pit of his belly.

Subin couldn't find it in him to do that again. So with his heart feeling lodged in his throat, he finally started typing out his reply to Hanse.  
  
  
  


**sese**

You're in good  
luck, my fren 😎  
_Sent 10:47 PM_

Jung Subin is  
available for  
pick-up at any  
time tomorrow  
_Sent 10:47 PM_

* * *

  
  
It was awkward as fuck.

They decided beforehand that they would eat out at a restaurant and catch a movie they wanted to see together for some time now. As Subin was waiting for Hanse to arrive at the small diner they usually sat in, he felt unbelievably nervous. His left leg was bouncing, and the palms of his hands were hot and clammy. He was slowly beginning to lose his marbles.

He already knew he’d be a bit earlier than Hanse because Hanse had to drop his older brother Byungchan off at the train station before heading here. But he didn’t know that he would be off the chains like this. Every couple of minutes, he looked at the diner’s entrance and wondered when Hanse would arrive.

Eventually, he started getting too into his head and thought maybe Hanse was taking too long because he didn’t want to come. Maybe he changed his mind and didn’t want to hang out after all. Perhaps something had happened, and Hanse wouldn’t get to meet up with him.

Or maybe it was _Subin_ who was actually feeling like that. Maybe it was _Subin_ who wanted to chicken out. Maybe it was _Subin_ who was ready to get up from his seat and leave the diner. At one point, he figured he should perhaps just tell Hanse he couldn’t meet him after all. He even hurried to get his phone out of his pocket and open his texts with Hanse to let him down once again. He was really going to do it!

Subin was very much about to start typing until, at last, the bell from the diner signalling someone entered rang, and Hanse came walking through the door. At that exact moment, Subin felt something in the pit of his belly churning and wondered if he was going to be sick. How could Hanse have that sort of effect on him? He was so bewildered and overwhelmed. He kind of really wanted to go home then so he could scream into his pillows.

Hanse was very nonchalant—as expected. But Subin felt like he was walking on eggshells with all of his movement. He was super aware of every look Hanse made toward him, and every word Hanse spoke to him. He’s pretty sure he even flinched when Hanse accidentally brushed up against him as they left the diner. Subin was a complete and utter mess!

Since Hanse had his car, they could drive to the cinema instead of catching an Uber or waiting for the bus. Usually, they would chat in the car when they were on their way somewhere together. Then, Subin wanted to do anything except talk. He managed to convince Hanse to turn on the radio, and he played music until they reached their destination. Subin wasn’t sure if Hanse felt awkward, but Subin knew that he did. It wasn’t like them to do that, and he felt so bad for it.

Luckily, they already knew what movie they wanted to see, so they didn’t have to discuss it when they went inside the theatre. It became a little more uncomfortable for Subin as they waited in line for tickets. After they got their tickets, Hanse had asked him if he wanted any refreshments, and he’d immediately declined the offer. Not only did they _just_ finish eating, but Subin was sure that anything else he put into his body would come back up if he attempted to digest it. He was _that_ nervous.

When they finally got to sit down and wait for the movie to start, Subin could feel himself begin to relax. But he was still on edge. And he suspected that Hanse noticed because as soon as the movie started, he reached over and intertwined their hands. He knows that was supposed to make him feel better, but no! That made him feel one-hundred times worse! He could hear his heartbeat in his fucking ears! His face was burning! He couldn’t move a single inch!

Subin’s nervousness actually did manage to die down after a while. Especially when Hanse started rubbing imaginary circles into the surface of his skin on his hand with his thumb. But when he noticed that the movie was nearing its end, he started to become anxious again. Subin didn’t know how much more he could handle Hanse. Hanse was just too much for him.

Before the movie was set to end, Hanse suddenly said he needed to use the restroom, so he left. Hanse was no longer holding his hand, and Subin felt his entire soul escape him. That was so much more nerve-wracking than when he had to take his college entrance exam. Hanse was making him feel such weird things!

To his surprise, Hanse didn’t return in time to see the ending of the movie. It wasn’t until he exited the theatre room that he saw Hanse leaving the men’s bathroom. Hanse had spotted him immediately and jogged over to him as he walked toward the exit of the cinema. He asked if he’d missed the ending and Subin unfortunately relayed to him that he did, but ended up telling Hanse the end of it anyways.

As they walked to Hanse’s car, Subin realized that Hanse couldn’t drop him off at his flat as they lived separate directions. So he stopped to let Hanse know.

“I think I’ll wait for the bus and go back home from here, hyung,” he said as he pointed to the bus stop that was a few feet away.

“You sure? I can take you—”

“Hyung, you live the opposite way from me, remember?” Subin interrupted him with a small laugh following.

“I mean, yeah. But I still don’t mind taking you,” Hanse had replied.

Subin shook his head and smiled. “It’s okay, hyung.”

Hanse tilted his head to the side in thought before nodding. “Okay, then,” he said. He had a look on his face as if there were more he wanted to say, though. 

So Subin asked, “What’s wrong?”

“I just…” Hanse ran a hand through his hair before stepping closer to Subin. “You know you can talk to me, right?”

Subin felt his heart pummel into the pit of his stomach. Hanse wasn’t catching on...was he? “Y-Yes?”

“Are...are you okay? Like…”

“Wh-what do you mean?”

Hanse shrugs. “I mean…” He lets out a soft sigh. “I don’t know. I don’t mean to sound rude when I say this, but… You just seem...really off and distant lately. I don’t know if there’s something going on or something that’s bothering you or what. But I want you to know that I’m here. And if you need to talk, you can tell me _anything._ I’ll listen and help you in any way that I can. You’re my best friend. You know that, right? I don’t want you to go through anything alone while I’m standing right here.”

Having heard those words from Hanse made Subin want to break down and cry right there. But he wasn’t ready to tell Hanse anything yet. He just wasn’t. Instead, Subin smiled and nodded. He’d told Hanse that he knew that and that he appreciated Hanse’s concern. And he’d let him know that the same applied for him.

Soon enough, they were parting ways and separating for the night. As soon as Hanse was out of sight, Subin was putting off his facade. He felt bad. He felt like shit. He felt like he didn’t know what the fuck he was doing anymore. He thinks that maybe that was the last thing he needed right now. Hanse’s concern should have given him relief, but it only put him further in stress.

The bus eventually came and he boarded to head home. As he rested his head against the window of the bus and stared at the scenery passing by, he tried to ease the aching feeling he felt spreading throughout his chest. He was so unsure of how he was going to overcome all these emotions he was suddenly feeling.  
  


* * *

  
  
  
  
  
  


**annoying roommate**

Hyung, did  
Hanse-hyung  
come to the flat  
_Sent 04:26 PM  
Read 04:28 PM_

Uhhhh @.@  
 _Sent 04:28 PM  
Read 04:28 PM_

No,,,  
_Sent 04:28 PM  
Read 04:28 PM_

...why? was he  
supposed to stop  
by????  
_Sent 04:28 PM  
Read 04:28 PM_

NO!!  
_Sent 04:28 PM  
Read 04:30 PM_

Fuck no!!  
_Sent 04:28 PM  
Read 04:30 PM_

Do not invite him  
there!!  
_Sent 04:29 PM  
Read 04:30 PM_

EVER!!!!!!  
_Sent 04:29 PM  
Read 04:30 PM_

………  
 _Sent 04:30 PM  
Read 04:31 PM_

Okay,,,  
_Sent 04:30 PM  
Read 04:31 PM_

I MEAN IT,  
HYUNG!!!!!!!!  
_Sent 04:31 PM  
Read 04:31 PM_

I mean i wasnt but  
 _Sent 04:31 PM  
Read 04:31 PM_

...Wait.  
_Sent 04:31 PM  
Read 04:31 PM_

Subin...  
_Sent 04:31 PM  
Read 04:31 PM_

ARE YOU STILL  
AVOIDING HIM?!  
_Sent 04:31 PM  
Read 04:32 PM_

Subin.  
_Sent 04:32 PM  
Read 04:32 PM_

S u b i n .  
_Sent 04:33 PM  
Read 04:33 PM_

SUBIN!!!!!!!!  
_Sent 04:34 PM  
Read 04:34 PM_

Dude wtf i cant  
believe u  
_Sent 04:35 PM  
Read 04:35 PM_

Hes not here  
_Sent 04:35 PM  
Read 04:35 PM_

I swear to God  
subin u need help  
_Sent 04:35 PM  
Read 04:35 PM_

STOP LEAVING  
ME ON READ  
_Sent 04:38 PM  
Read 04:44 PM_

Open the door  
_Sent 04:44 PM  
Read 04:44 PM_

The door in front of Subin flies open to reveal Chan giving him a pointed look. “Shut up,” he says. “Take these bags.” He shoves one armful of grocery bags toward Chan to take into their shared flat.

Chan sighs and takes the bags from him. Then he turns around and begins walking to the kitchen without saying a word.

Subin steps inside and kicks his shoes off before shutting the door behind him. Then he scurries after Chan to help put away the food. When he meets Chan in the kitchen, Chan is again giving him a _look_ that Subin _refuses_ to acknowledge. He starts to take the groceries out of the bags instead of giving Chan attention. 

They put the groceries away in complete silence. It’s a little awkward for Subin, and it makes his skin crawl because he knows Chan is going to burst into a thousand questions as soon as the last item is put out of sight.

Before Chan can get a word out to him, he grabs his bottle of tea he placed on the counter beforehand and skids out of the kitchen to the living room. It’s a quick escape. His means to disappear before Chan enters the living room next is futile, though, as he hears Chan shout from the kitchen, “Don’t you dare go anywhere, you little shit!”

Subin lets out a sigh and takes a seat on one of the one seat sofas. He only has to wait a few moments before Chan is entering the room.

“You’re _still_ avoiding him?” Chan asks out of disbelief.

Subin rubs the nape of his neck as he avoids looking into Chan’s eyes. “I mean! N-Not _completely!_ But m-mostly…”

“Oh my God, Subin. You’re being ridiculous. _Listen_ to me,” Chan says loudly. “I don’t think there’s _anything_ wrong with you wanting him to spank you. _Especially_ because you’re comfortable with him.”

“So you’re telling me that if we were best friends of nine years and counting that you would be okay with me spanking you?” Subin asks with an incredulous tone.

“Uh… Well, I guess not—”

“See! It’s weird! It’s fucked up! That’s not right! Something’s wrong with me!”

“Eh, I wouldn’t say that.” Chan jumps onto the couch across from Subin with a drink in his hold. “Want a beer?” He asks as he opens the can.

“Ew. No. You know I hate alcohol.”

Chan shrugs. “Suit yourself.” He takes a swig of his drink. “But, uh. Maybe you just need to get laid.”

“Ugh. Not this again.” Subin throws his head back against the couch. “I don’t know. Sure. Maybe.” Then he reaches forward and picks up his bottle off the table to take a sip of his tea.

“Mmm… I don’t think getting laid by your best friend sounds too bad.”

Subin spits out his drink, coughing everywhere as he struggles to put his bottle back down on the table between them. “Dude, what the fuck!?” He coughs out.

Chan bursts into laughter. _“What!?”_

“Why would you suggest that!?” Subin shouts. “What the fuck is wrong with you!?”

“I’m just _saying!_ I mean—” Chan sits up and puts his can on the table before facing Subin. “Just look at it this way: if you’re already gone enough that the thought of him spanking you doesn’t turn you off, then him fucking you isn’t far off either!”

“Oh my God. You do know this is a _me_ thing, right? That I don’t even know if he’s feeling the same way I am?”

“Hm… Are you sure about that?” Chan asks.

Subin narrows his eyes. “What the fuck do you mean, _“Are you sure about that?”_ You know something I don’t?”

Chan hums as he leans back in his seat. “Well, I wouldn’t say I _know_ this, but...I don’t think he’s far off from what you’re feeling as much as you think he is.”

“What makes you say that?”

“Are you really that oblivious?”

“Huh?”

“Do you not see the way he looks at you? Or feel it?”

“No? What exactly are you talking about?”

“Subin, he looks at you like he wants to devour you. As if you’re the sheep and he’s the wolf. That man is _gone for you._ ”

Subin sputters. “Wh-what!?”

“He’s not good at hiding it. At all. You’re just really fucking obtuse. That’s why you can’t tell.” Chan laughs. “I can’t believe this. You guys are stupidly made for each other. He flirts with you all the fucking time, yet you don’t realize. I can’t believe you guys have been friends for this long, and you haven’t noticed it! Idiots to lovers, holy shit!”

“Stop fucking with me, hyung. That shit’s not funny.”

“I wish I was, Bin. The flirting between you guys is no joke.”

“I-I know he flirts. But he does that with _everyone._ I’m not some special case. He’s just—he’s joking when he does it with me—”

“That’s the thing! He doesn’t _do it_ with everyone the way he does with you, Subin. I swear, you gotta’ pay attention. I’m ninety percent sure he’s romantically into you and has been for quite a while.”

“...And what about the remaining ten percent?”

“That’s just him questioning his existence without you.”

“You sound very sure of this despite saying you don’t know anything.”

Chan grins. “Listen, I may not be good with words, but I know I’m great with people.”

Subin rolls his eyes. “Sure, Sherlock.”

“Just _talk to him,_ Subin.”

“Oh, _hell_ , no. Absolutely not. Do you know the hell I had to endure the other day when I finally couldn’t hold off seeing him in person for a day? Never again.”

“So you’re just gonna’ avoid him for the rest of your life? Let years of your friendship go down the drain over an _ass slap?_ ”

“W-Wh—I—oh, _fuck._ W-Well, if you’re gonna’ put it like _that,_ it sounds really dumb,” he mumbles as he looks down and nervously plays with his fingers.

“Exactly. Think this through before you make a mistake you can’t take back. I’d hate for that to happen to you,” Chan says. “And I mean, you guys are supposed to be the best of friends, right? This shouldn’t be something so nerve-wracking for you to bring up. Even if it does turn out to be awkward as fuck, I don’t think talking about it will ruin your friendship. Just be honest with him. If anything, I think it’ll cut through those years of sexual tension—”

“Oh my God! Shut _up!_ What the fuck!?”

“What? You’re saying you’ve _never_ thought about fucking him before? I have eyes too, Subin! I know he’s hot stuff!”

“You know what? I regret ever telling you anything. You’re worse than my dad, _and_ I hate you. Holy fuck. I’m leaving.” He gets up from his seat after picking up his bottle of tea. Chan’s echo of laughter follows him as he exits their living room and makes his way to his bedroom.

“You’ll never stray far! You’ll come back to me! I know you love me!” Chan calls after him.

“Stop drinking! It makes you delusional!” Subin shouts back. Subin enters his room and closes the door behind him. He leans back on the door as he looks down at the ground in thought.

He knows Chan is right. But it’s so easy to ignore everything and act like nothing is going on. He wishes he were just a bit more clueless so that he didn’t have to deal with it. 

This entire situation is truly embarrassing as hell. Just _thinking_ of talking to Hanse regarding any of it makes him more nervous than he already has been. If he can’t even imagine a scenario, he doesn’t know how he’s going to act when he finally has to face telling Hanse in reality.  
  


* * *

  
  
“ _Fuck_ —hyung, p- _please._ ”

“What?”

“ _More._ I need—I need _more,_ please.”

“Bin, I don’t know. I mean, you’re already so red. Any more and you’ll start to bruise—”

“ _I want it._ Please, hyung. _Please._ I want it. I want it so badly. _Please._ ”

One corner of Hanse’s lips quirks up into a slight smirk. “You’re such a masochist.”

Subin squirms as he lets out a soft moan. “Hyung… Please…”

Hanse manhandles Subin until Subin’s lying with his ass across Hanse’s lap. They’re near the edge of Subin’s bed that gives Hanse a comfortable spot to sit with Subin atop him. He places both of his hands on Subin’s back, right above Subin’s ass. Then he drags them down until he starts passing over Subin’s ass cheeks softly. 

“You’re such a naughty boy, aren’t you?” Hanse hums as his hands meet the end of Subin’s ass. He starts up the same action again by beginning at the dip of Subin’s back and smoothing the palms of his hands down until he reaches the swell of Subin’s ass.

Subin shivers under Hanse’s touch, but it’s from hearing the way Hanse talks to him. “Hyung…,” he whines softly. There’s a hot sensation bubbling in the stomach’s pit as his cock is hard and heavy underneath him. He’s so turned on that it hurts. “Hyung, _please_ hit me…”

Hanse chuckles. “Just be patient for a moment,” he whispers as he suddenly digs his fingers into the flesh of Subin’s ass, eliciting a response from Subin where he gasps loudly, and it morphs into a whimper. Hanse then uses the tip of his index finger to trace random shapes across the surface of Subin’s skin. “How badly do you want this again?” He asks.

The immediate reply from Subin is a choked sob. “ _Hyung._ Hyung, _please._ Please, hyung. I-I need it _so_ much. Please. _Please._ It’s like—it’s an itch I can’t scratch. I just—I _need_ it so badly, hyung. I’m gonna’ go crazy. _Please—_ ” Subin gets cut off as Hanse, at last, connects the palm of his hand with Subin’s ass. He lets out a gasp that quickly turns into a desperate-sounding moan. He begins squirming again as he breathes out, “ _Again._ Hyung, _again._ Please.”

Hanse abides by Subin’s demand and strikes him again.

Subin breathes in profoundly and grabs onto the sheets beneath Hanse. “A-Again.”

Hanse slaps him once more.

_“More.”_

Hanse then smacks his ass four times in a row, switching from each cheek as he does.

“Keep _going,_ hyung.”

Hanse bites back a sigh before he begins landing spank after spank. He no longer keeps count but watches how Subin’s skin starts leaving the flushed pink colour behind and starts fading into a light shade of red.

“Yes. _Yes. Yes._ Keep going. _Keep going._ Don’t stop. _Please._ ” Subin’s knuckles become white with how hard he clenches the sheets in between his fists. His feet dig into the mattress, and his toes curl as he gets closer to his climax. He’s losing control. Losing his senses. He can’t stay still. He’s going to explode. 

“ _Fuck._ I’m gonna’ cum. _I’m gonna’ cum._ Don’t stop, please. _Please_ don’t stop. Fuck. _Fuck. Fuck._ Oh my God. _I love you—_ ”

Subin shoots up abruptly from his bed along with a deep, loud gasp for air. His chest heaves up and down quickly in time with his breathing. His heart is racing rapidly. He’s sweating profusely. His lungs ache. His entire body is hot like he’s radiating heat.

_I love you._

He inhales deeply and runs a hand through his wet hair. Then he throws his blankets off of him and swings his legs over the side of his bed. Just as he makes movement, he realizes how hard he is. His cock aches from the confines of his underwear. He can feel multiple wet patches against his burning skin too.

_I love you._

Feeling defeated, he throws himself back against his bed on a loud groan and covers his eyes with one of his arms. Yes. This is embarrassing. It doesn’t matter that he’s completely alone, and no one knows of this except him. It’s mortifying. Absolutely humiliating. He can’t believe he just woke up from a dream about that! He feels so—so fucking—so _violated!_ Even despite the fact it wasn’t anywhere close to being a reality, he’s unbelievably flustered!

_I love you._

This shit—it’s _disturbing._ He feels like he’s going to lose his mind. All of this? It’s just too much. It’s too much for him to handle. He doesn’t know how longer he can deal with this—with his dumb feelings. With his stupid thoughts. It just—it makes him angry. It makes him angry that he has all these emotions, and he doesn’t know what to do with them. That he doesn’t know what’s the right course of action. It’s too frustrating _not knowing what to do._

_I love you._

With a shaky exhale, he removes his arm from over his eyes and stares at the ceiling instead. _‘I’m tired,’_ he thinks. He wishes this could be over with. He wishes he had the courage to speak up and say what’s on his mind. He wishes he wasn’t so scared of all the possibilities that could break him.

There’s a whistling ping that resonates throughout the room that he recognizes comes from his phone. He sits up and looks at the device sitting on the dresser next to his bed. The screen is lit and shows the time to be just over three in the morning. He sighs and turns away, not caring about any notifications he’s receiving right now. Instead, he maneuvers himself back into his bed and under his blankets. Then he lies down and begins to stare into the pitch-black abyss.

When was the last time he woke up in the middle of the night? He doesn’t remember. It wasn’t a usual occurrence for him. That’s how he knew this was causing him more stress than he really needed. _‘This is stupid,’_ he thinks as he starts to blink rapidly to fight back the tears. _‘This is so fucking stupid.’_

This isn’t right. Why is he crying? He shouldn’t be crying. _He shouldn’t be crying._ And that’s what he’s telling himself, but it only makes him feel worse. _‘I’m a mess,’_ he solemnly thinks as a tear slips from his eye and down his face.

In the end, he sheds tears until he falls back asleep.

His dreams are once again of him and Hanse. Though, this time, they’re holding hands while watching the sun set. Subin explains in his dream to Hanse that he has something he wants to tell Hanse; that it’s something important and very revealing. He’s terrified of what Hanse’s reaction towards him telling him about it will be. He doesn’t want to lose his best friend over it.

The moment Subin wakes up again is because of his morning alarm. He sits up with a blank expression. As he stares ahead into space with blurry eyes and a swollen face, he slowly realizes he feels more conflicted now than before he fell asleep. There...was something else he was taking notice to.

And it was that he was in love with Hanse.  
  


* * *

  
  
To Subin’s dismay, the Goddamned dream follows him around until the very near end of the day. He’d thought that he would have forgotten it and moved on. But quite the complete opposite happened. He was thinking about it during every second of his wake.

Every moment he can get, his thoughts begin wandering to it. He ends up being jumpy most of the day because he keeps spacing out. It’s a little embarrassing the way he startles each time someone comes up to the front desk. Especially since he’s usually so attentive.

It’s nearing half-past five when his supervisor Sejun appears and manages to scare the absolute crap out of him by dropping a couple of totes full of textbooks on the counter as he’s turned around. He screams and drops the stack of papers in his hands when he hears the noise. As soon as he spins around to find the culprit, he puts a hand on his chest with wide eyes to show how badly he was startled. “Seriously, sunbae!?” He exclaims.

Sejun removes the pencil that’s sitting in between his front row of teeth and puts it behind one of his ears instead. “What?”

Subin sighs and shakes his head. “Never mind,” he mumbles and squats down to pick up the mess of papers he’d dropped mid-scare. When he stands back up, Sejun is still standing there but giving him a look of concern, so he silently stares back at Sejun until he decides to speak.

“Are you okay?” Sejun eventually asks with a raised brow.

A frown makes its way onto Subin’s face, but he immediately schools himself back into a blank expression. Then he waves Sejun away with a shake of his head. “I’m fine,” he replies.

“Clearly you’re not when you’re looking over your shoulder every two seconds like you’re afraid that someone’s going to stab you from behind. You’re also jumping every time someone does something as small and mundane as turning their book’s page,” Sejun says. “What’s going on, Subin?”

Subin looks down at the ground to avoid meeting Sejun’s eyes. “It’s nothing,” he mumbles and starts to put the stack of papers into the printer. Before he can turn around, Sejun reaches out and grabs his arm, keeping him from moving any further. He looks back to Sejun with a confused expression and finds Sejun glaring at him.

“It’s _something._ And it’s certainly affecting your work behaviour. Tell me so I can help you.”

Reluctantly, Subin tells him about his situation with Hanse. It isn’t easy explaining it to him. At least not like how it was with Chan. He was comfortable with Chan. Although it wasn’t like he wasn’t comfortable with Sejun either. Sejun was very much like an older brother figure to him, and he actually really did trust the older man with his life. He guesses it was more of embarrassment than anything. He left out the part where he realized he was in love with Hanse though.

The fives of tens of fingers he has nervously tangle and untangle as he speaks to Sejun. “I’m only telling you this because I trust you,” he admits quietly. “And also because if I don’t tell someone else other than my dumb and unhelpful roommate, I might lose my fucking mind.”

“ _Ahhh,_ young love,” Sejun jokes. “So _that’s_ why you’ve been blushing every time Hanse’s name is mentioned and avoiding him like he’s the plague. This all makes sense now.”

Subin blinks a few times out of disbelief. He… He didn’t tell Sejun that he was in love with Hanse. He didn’t say a word about that. How did he _know—_ “Y-You _noticed_ that!?”

Sejun winks as he’s bent forward, leaning on his forearms against the counter’s surface with a shit-eating grin. “I’m the supervisor, Subin-ie. I notice _everything~_ ”

Subin narrows his eyes in response. “You didn’t notice that your top two best employees Seungsik-hyung and Seungwoo-hyung were continuously fucking in the back of the library for a couple of years until just a few days ago but sure. Okay. I totally agree with that.”

Sejun’s eyes widen, and he reaches over the counter to cover Subin’s mouth as he hurriedly goes, _“SHHHHHHHHHHH!”_ He looks around him for ten seconds and then back to Subin with a scandalous expression on his face. “You can’t talk about that in here!” He shouts in a whisper. “We’ll lose potential peers! Do you want my advice or not?!”

Subin rolls his eyes and removes Sejun’s hands from his face. “I didn’t _ask_ for any _advice._ I was _bullied_ into revealing my darkest _secrets_ ,” he whispered back through a hiss.

Sejun sticks his lips out into a pout. “I did _not_ bully you into telling me anything, you little brat!” He exclaims, still whispering. “If you don’t need me, then I shall be moving along now—”

“ _Wait!_ No!” Sejun looks at him as if he’s expecting something, so he sighs. “Listen, I’m sorry. I just— _please._ I-I don’t know what to do. If there’s anything you can do or tell me to help me figure this out…”

Sejun smiles fondly at him. Then he reaches over the counter once again and boops Subin on the nose. “I forget how young you really are sometimes,” he says softly. 

Subin pouts next. “You’re only seven years older than me.”

“That’s a lot! I’m still older than you!” Sejun laughs out. His expression then gets serious. “I think... It’s good that you’re being honest with yourself. You have to be true with yourself before you can be true with anyone else.” Sejun drums his fingers on the counter as he thinks carefully of what to say. “Trust is also definitely something that plays a big part in your situation. Trust and honesty.”

Subin isn’t one-hundred percent sure what Sejun means by that.

“You and Hanse have been friends for over ten years, right? How much do you trust him?”

“With-with my life! I mean, we’ve known each other for so long. I can’t imagine myself not trusting him. He’s a great person,” Subin says.

“Do you think he’s always honest with you?”

The question makes Subin think of the night Hanse confronted him about his distance. Hanse has always told him how he feels. He's never sugar-coated anything with Subin. He was always one-hundred percent honest. “Yeah, for sure. He’s not the type to hold back.”

Sejun smiles. “So why are you?”

Subin blinks. “What do you mean?”

“Why are you holding back?” Sejun asks.

Subin opens his mouth to respond but then closes it back. He’s asked himself this question before. He’s scared. He’s worried about Hanse’s reaction.

“The two of you are supposed to be on the same wavelength, right? He doesn’t hold back when he thinks there’s something that needs to be said. So why are you?”

The answer is there. He knows it. But he can’t get himself to say it.

Sejun tilts his head to the side as he studies Subin’s body language. “It’s because you’re afraid. Isn’t it?” He asks.

Subin’s eyes widen as he lifts his head up to look at Sejun.

“You’re afraid of the possibility that Hanse won’t react the way you’re expecting him to.” Sejun reaches out and pokes Subin on the chest. _“Right?”_

Subin can’t deny it. That’s the truth. That is the answer. So he casts his sight downward and nods. “Yeah,” he whispers.

Sejun breathes in deeply and stands straight. “Let me tell you a thing, Subin-ie,” he says. “You’ve known this kid for more than ten years. You have been through much thick and thin together already. You’re in love with him. If this were to send him away after all of this Goddamned time, I don’t think he was meant to be your friend in the first place.” Sejun throws the palm of one of his hands down on the counter to catch Subin’s attention.

Subin looks up and finds Sejun grinning.

“Be more optimistic. Talk to him, Subin. Get it off your chest. Have a little faith. Be honest. Trust your instincts. Trust _him._ Let him know how you feel. Don’t drag this on for longer than you have.” Sejun then tilts his head down and looks at him from the top of the frame of his glasses. “And if he really does run away, _call me._ I’ll beat his ass.”

Subin snorts and shakes his head. “Thanks, sunbae,” he says softly. “Thank you. I… I’m gonna’ think hard on it.”

“Great!” Sejun exclaims. “Now stop spacing out and go help that pitiful student over there by the computers. They look like they’re about to have a mental breakdown, good God.” Sejun shakes his head. “I’m _so glad_ I’m not in college anymore…,” he mumbles as he walks off.  
  


* * *

  
  
Talking with Sejun put some ease to Subin’s mental troubles. But it wasn’t enough to push him to do anything about it. It wasn’t enough to lessen his anxiety. Especially not when _someone_ was pestering him regarding it. Four days passed by and each day Sejun was asking him the _same_ God damned question—

“Have you talked to Hanse yet?”

Subin throws his hands up in the air with a yell and turns around to face Sejun. “Seriously!?” He exclaims.

The elder man grins and bats his eyelashes. “Is that a yes?”

“You’re being very fucking annoying,” Subin hisses and throws the towel in his hand at his hyung who dodges the flying cloth with hysteric laughter. “I haven’t gotten the courage yet, okay!? But I’m working toward it! Now _leave me alone!_ ”

Sejun raises his hands in order to surrender but Subin can see in his face that he’s disappointed. He sighs harshly and turns back to finish cleaning off the shelf.

“I’m sorry,” Sejun apologizes. “I just wanna' hear that everything goes well for you.” 

“Well, you bothering me about it is _not_ helping me feel any better. So please _stop_ bringing it up. I didn’t tell you so that you could harass me daily about it,” Subin mumbles as he begins putting books onto the shelf with a rougher force than needed.

“I know. I know.” Sejun starts helping Subin put the books back as well. “...Can I make it up to you?” He asks after a minute passes. “There’s gonna' be an event I’m hosting tonight for one of my close friends. They just moved here from overseas, so it's more of a welcoming party than anything. Do you wanna' come?”

Subin stops shelving and looks at Sejun with narrowed eyes. “You want me to come to one of your parties.”

Sejun nods. “Yes.”

“What’s the catch?”

“Catch—ugh, Subin!” He whines. “There is no catch! I just want you to loosen up and have a little _fun!_ Get your mind off things for a moment! You’ve been swallowed up deep in shit for a while. I don’t wanna' see my fave little bro get hurt because of that.” 

Subin still has his eyes narrowed as he stares. He doesn’t quite trust Sejun at the moment.

Sejun pouts his lips and gives him the infamous puppy face. “Please, Subin-ie~”

Subin sighs and turns back to the bookshelf to return to his job. “Fine,” he huffs.

A large _“whoop”_ comes from Sejun, signalling his happiness. “It’s gonna’ be great, Subin,” he says excitedly. “You’ll thank me later.”

As Sejun skips away with a pep in his walk, Subin ceases all his movement to watch him disappear. He somehow gets the feeling that Sejun wasn’t talking about the party.  
  


* * *

  
  
When Subin arrives at the party later that night, it’s already past eight. The windows from Sejun’s house are illuminated from the lights inside, and on the outside, they cast red, blue, and yellow colours. He’s parked near the driveway but he can still hear the loud bass from how loud the music is playing. He wasn’t going to lie; he was a little surprised that Sejun could hold a party like this.

Once he texts Sejun to let him know he’s there, he gets out of his car and locks it behind him. He starts walking up to the door, deciding to just walk on the grass since the driveway was pretty occupied with cars already.

As he stood in front of the door, waiting for Sejun to invite him in, he took a glance down at his clothes. He was wearing the pair of jeans from the same night that started changing everything from the past month and a half. Chan had somehow convinced him. Again. He vowed to never listen to Chan, yet there he was! Listening to him! He didn’t know how it happened!

He was also wearing a maroon tight fitted t-shirt with a black leather jacket and brown suede Chelsea boots. And okay, yeah. So _maybe_ he’s wearing shit from Sejun’s wardrobe. Still, it’s only because—yes, _again_ —Chan barged into his room and blackmailed him into wearing the damn forsaken clothing. He didn’t have a choice anymore at that point. He hoped he looked good though.

He’s startled out of his reverie as the door opens and reveals a grinning Sejun. 

“Subin-ie!” He screeches. “I’m glad you could make it! Come in! Come in!” He steps aside to let Subin walk in and closes the door when Subin does. “How do you feel?” He asks as he drapes an arm around Subin’s shoulder and begins walking with him through the crowd of people.

“Confused,” Subin answers as he looks around. There were more people here than he expected. “I thought you said this was a house welcoming party.”

Sejun gives him an overly sweet smile. “I don’t know what you mean! This _is_ a house welcoming party!” He retorts as they begin to enter what Subin suspected was the kitchen.

“Sure…”

“Trust me. This is not the biggest party. For me, this is very little.” Sejun then lets out a yell and groans. “Seriously!? Who did that and left it there!?” He exclaims, rushing over to the corner of the kitchen where it looks like a wine bottle was knocked off the counter and in pieces on the tiled floor.

Subin tries not to laugh. “Still think there aren’t too many people here?” He teases.

Sejun glares at him. “Instead of mocking me, do me a quick favour and please get some towels from the linen closet in the hallway.”

Subin frowns but still starts to exit the kitchen. “I didn’t come here to be one of your little underpaid Oompa Loompas,” he grumbles loud enough for Sejun to hear.

It takes a moment for him to even find what he’s looking for as he hasn’t been in Sejun’s home before. When he heads into the hall, he finds someone already standing there. He’s about to ask them if they were looking for what he was looking for but then he stops all movement. His eyes widen as he realizes who it is.

_Hanse._

He was wearing a black beret, a beige low-cut v-neck sweater that was showing off his collar bone tattoos, a few pearl and chain necklaces, and light wash ripped denim jeans with white high-top sneakers. Needless to be said but he looked _good._ Subin hated to admit it but Chan was right. Hanse was indeed hot stuff.

Before either of them can say anything, Sejun suddenly appears. It all happens so fast that Subin kind of gets a whiplash. The two of them are being shoved into the closet, he’s fallen into Hanse’s arms, and then there’s a loud _click!_ signalling the door has been locked. He can only blink rapidly within the darkness as his heart races from how he’d been startled.

Sejun’s voice comes through the door loudly, “You’re not coming out until you’ve talked! Have fun! Stay safe!”

And then it’s quiet.

Neither of them moves a single muscle for about ten seconds minimum. After that, Subin is removing himself from Hanse’s grip.

“Uh… Is there a light in here?” Hanse asks.

Subin begins searching to see if there’s a light switch on the wall near the door, dragging the palm of one of his hands all across the wallpaper. Eventually, he finds it and flicks the switch upward. When the light turns on, the two of them get startled by a creepy-looking photo frame Sejun has on the wall.

Hanse snorts and reaches out to slowly turn it around. Once it’s out of sight, the two of them are silent again as they stare at each other standing with about one foot of distance in between them. There isn’t much space behind them either seeing they’re in a closet.

Though, for fuck’s sake, Subin’s going to murder Sejun once they get out. He knew something was fishy with the way Sejun was acting. Chan too. Now he knows both of them were planning this all along. God, he hates them so much.

But right now, there’s some serious awkward sexual tension running through the air that Subin can feel. He’s almost choking on it. He doesn’t think even the sharpest sword in the world could cut through it. In an attempt to feel more at ease, he clears his throat and asks, “So… What are you doing here?”

Hanse sighs and steps back to lean against the wall. “Chan-hyung said he wanted to come here with me. In the end, he changed his mind, so I’m here alone now,” he explains.

Subin scoffs and rolls his eyes. “Chan-hyung is literally at home chilling on the couch with chilli fries and reruns of The Office. I don’t think he ever had plans of coming here with you.”

Hanse shakes his head with a laugh out of disbelief. “Why are _you_ here?” He shoots back.

“Sejun-hyung wouldn’t stop pestering me until I said I’d come,” Subin grumbled. “I hate him. I’m never talking to him again.”

Hanse then lets out an actual laugh. “Looks like Sejun-hyung and Chan-hyung had their own agenda.”

“Yup,” Subin confirms with a whisper.

A few moments of silence pass by before Hanse sighs and goes, “Okay, what the fuck is going on, Subin?”

Subin averts his eyes from Hanse. “Nothing.”

“Nothing? Bullshit.” Hanse stops leaning on the wall and takes a step forward. “Tell me what’s wrong, Subin. We wouldn’t be in here otherwise.”

As much as Hanse is right, it doesn’t help Subin feel any better. Or like telling him anything. He’s content with sitting here until the party is over, but he knows that would make both Hanse and Sejun angry. Though, he doesn’t really care about how Sejun feels. He’s already been considering dethroning him from the “Best Hyung Ever” title since earlier in the afternoon.

Hanse sighs as Subin continues not to say anything. “You remember what I told you, right? You can tell me anything. I don’t care what it is. I’m not gonna’ be angry. And if you’re worried about hurting my feelings or something, I’ll be okay. It won’t be the end of the world.”

Subin frowns and stuffs his hands into the pockets of his leather jacket. “I _know._ This is just—you don’t say this stuff easily. I—I’m not like you. I can’t just spit it out.”

“I understand that, Subin. But if Sejun-hyung and Chan-hyung are going this far to make you talk to me, that means they already know what’s bothering you, right? If you could tell them, you can definitely tell me.”

Subin lets out a frustrated huff of air and shakes his head. “You—it doesn’t _work_ like that, hyung,” he grumbles, feeling himself starting to become annoyed. The last thing he needs right now is to lash out. He doesn’t want to be that person. In order to keep his anger down, he starts to turn around. Before he can, Hanse reaches out and grabs his arm, stopping him from facing away from him.

“Subin, what is it that you’re trying so hard to keep from me?” He exclaims, concern written all over his face with the way he has a frown and furrowed brows.

“It doesn’t matter!” Subin shouts back. He attempts to snatch his arm out of Hanse’s grip but he’s stronger than him. His grip on Subin only becomes tighter. Subin looks at him with a glare. “Let go of me.”

“No,” Hanse refuses. “Tell me what’s wrong.”

Subin tries harder to shake Hanse’s hand off of him. “I’m not telling you anything, so let go of me!”

Hanse reaches out and grabs Subin’s other arm, making it more difficult for him to escape his hold. “How come they get to know but not me?! Don’t you think there’s a problem with that?” Hanse asks, some essence of hurt laced in his voice.

“God, what the fuck! None of this is about them! It’s about _you!_ ” Subin shouts out of frustration.

Hanse then pushes Subin backward until they hit the wall of the closet. Subin emits a soft gasp with wide eyes as he comes in contact with the wall and as Hanse pins his arms against the wall on either side of his head.

“If this is about me, then what the fuck is it, Subin!?” Hanse exasperates.

Feeling flustered, frustrated, and fed up with everything and everyone around him, Subin loses it. He accidentally blurts out, _“I’M IN LOVE WITH YOU!”_

There’s a moment of silence as the two of them breathe heavily.

The truth is out now. Subin should feel relieved but he actually feels some kind of rage. That’s what causes him to continue with, “I hate you so fucking much for this! You slapped my ass! Maybe it was a joke, but it made me feel things I never felt before! And then I started to realize I’m fucking in love with you! I was a fucking mess! And I still am! I was trying to figure things out before I said anything to you, but everyone else seems to know what’s good for me! Except _me!_ ” He yells. “Now _there!_ I’ve told you! _Are you fucking happy now!?_ ”

As Subin was shouting at Hanse, his grip on Subin became loose, so it made it easy for Subin to push Hanse off of him. As Hanse stumbled back, Subin sped to the other side of the closet and turned away from Hanse so he couldn’t see his face and how extremely red it was.

It was quiet between the two of them for two minutes at the least. Subin was trying to calm himself down before he burst into tears. Hanse was taking in everything Subin confessed to him. The silence was broken by Hanse, though.

“Subin—”

“Don’t,” Subin whispers. “Just—don’t.”

“No, please. Listen, Subin. I need to say this,” Hanse pressed. “I—I’m sorry. This really wasn’t the good timing or place for this. I understand what Sejun-hyung and Chan-hyung were trying to do, but it wasn’t right. I agree that you should have said anything on your own terms. And I'm sorry I pushed you. That wasn’t right of me either.”

 _Damn right,_ Subin thought. Everyone around him was pushing him to do this, do that. Maybe he should have just kept his mouth shut and no one would be in this position right now.

“I’m sorry it had to be like this.” Hanse reaches out and gently takes a hold of Subin’s hand when he doesn’t say anything in return. “Can you please look at me?” He softly asks.

With a sigh, Subin faces him with a glare. He knows he has a red face and tear-stricken eyes, so it doesn’t send as much anger as he wants it to. “You’re an ass,” he says.

“I know. I know,” Hanse responds. “I’m sorry. I really am.”

“I hate you.”

“I know.”

“I wanna’ punch you so bad right now.”

“I know.”

“Stop saying that.”

Hanse grins and laughs softly. “Sorry,” he apologizes. He runs his thumb up and down the skin of Subin’s hand in a comforting manner. “But...are we gonna’ properly talk about this, though? Because I want to.”

“We might as well…,” Subin murmurs as he looks down at the ground in between them. He doesn’t _want_ to. But seeing as Sejun still hasn’t opened the door, there isn’t a reason _not_ to discuss it right now. Especially since Hanse doesn’t even know the full story.

“Okay, well…” Hanse sits down and gestures for Subin to follow. When Subin sits in front of him, he asks, “Can we start off by explaining to me what you meant about me slapping your ass? And that it made you feel things you never felt before?”

Subin starts off the same way he told Chan and Sejun. He tells him about that night. He tells him about how it flustered him. He tells him how it was like a third eye opening—which makes Hanse laugh. He explains to him what he felt like realizing all these new feelings, how it contributed to him freaking out every time he was around Hanse, and why he ended up starting to put distance between them. He even tells him about his conversations with Chan and Sejun—even though Chan was like. Super unhelpful and Subin was definitely going to choke him to death when he got home.

It takes a while for Subin to explain it all, but Hanse listens and takes it in well. “So... You’re in love with me?” He asks when Subin decides he’s said everything he needed to.

“Yes.”

“And you want me to spank you?” He asks next with a smirk.

“I—” Subin huffs and diverts his sight to the ceiling above as his cheeks pink up. “Y-Yes.”

Hanse laughs. “I can’t believe this is all that it was. I thought you suddenly hated me or something,” he said with a shake of his head.

“I’m—I thought you were going to be the one to hate me,” Subin mumbled, still looking up.

Hanse scoots forward and takes Subin’s face in between the palms of his hands to make Subin look straight at him. He stares directly into Subin’s eyes with an intensity Subin hadn’t ever seen from him before. “Subin… I’ve been in love with you for years. I could _never_ hate you,” he whispers. _“Never.”_

Subin nods his head. “I know,” he whispers back. “I know. I know. It’s just—anxiety is a bitch, you know?”

Hanse chuckles and rests his forehead against Subin’s forehead. “I know. And I still love you.” It’s quiet for a few moments before Hanse asks, “So… Are you a masochist?”

The abruptness of the question strikes Subin into so much shock that he can't answer. Instead, he scoffs out of disbelief and pushes Hanse—who’s losing his shit, by the way—away from him. “What the fuck!?” He exclaims.

“Spanking and masochism go hand-in-hand!” Hanse explains through laughter and begins laughing even harder when Subin starts kicking him.

“Terrible. You’re terrible. I hate you,” Subin says as he starts to stand up. He’s immediately pulled back down by Hanse and stumbles until he falls into Hanse’s lap.

“I’m just teasing.” Hanse grins when Subin glares at him. “Do you wanna' try it out?” He asks as he maneuvers Subin into the position where his legs are wrapped around Hanse’s waist.

Subin blinks at him before his cheeks bleed red. “H- _Here!?_ Right _now!?_ ” He shouts.

Hanse laughs. “Yeah, why not? No one’s gonna’ come in here. Sejun-hyung probably thinks we’re still talking anyway.”

“Uh…”

“We don't have to. Just wanted to put it out there in case—”

“Okay,” Subin decides quietly.

“What?”

“We can try it,” he repeats.

Hanse blinks. “You-you sure?”

Subin glares at him again. “You just _asked me—_ ”

“Yeah. Yeah. I know. I’m just making sure.” Hanse grins and brushes a strand of Subin’s hair away from his face with one of his index fingers. “So how do you wanna' do this?” He asks. “Over my lap?”

Subin looks down in between them. “Yeah, um. I-I guess so.”

“Okay, you’ll have to move then,” he laughs out.

Without another word, Subin removes himself from around Hanse and switches his position so that he lies across Hanse’s lap instead.

“Comfortable?” Hanse asks.

“As much as I can be on the floor in a cramped closet,” Subin answers, trying to get the heat in his cheeks to die down. He feels exposed in a provocative way, lying on Hanse like this. He can already feel a _certain part_ of him getting excited. Oh, how _badly_ he wants to run and hide from how embarrassing this is.

Hanse emits a puff of laughter in response. “I’m gonna' touch you now,” he announces.

“Okay,” Subin mumbles back, his heart racing with anticipation.

Subin feels Hanse roam his hands over his ass for a moment before actually trying anything. The first hit is...very underwhelming in Subin’s opinion. Hanse hits him lightly like he’s afraid or something. That’s the _last_ thing Subin needs right now to be honest. “That wasn’t a slap,” he says matter-of-factly.

Hanse huffs. “I’m not a spanking connaisseur, Subin! I’m not exactly sure how to go about this.”

“Just—” Subin sighs. “You were the one who suggested this! Just hit my ass! B-But _harder._ ”

“Like this?” Hanse tries again. But it’s still too soft.

Subin squirms in Hanse’s lap. “No… You’re doing it too lightly. It—it’s not the same.”

Hanse is patient though. He attempts once more, but it’s still not enough for Subin.

It makes Subin start feeling a bit agitated. “No! God—just— _harder!_ Like that day at the party! The way you did it so _unabashedly—_ ” He cuts himself off with a gasp as Hanse finally lands the right pressured slap against his ass. A few seconds pass by as Subin bends his fingers into balls of fists and clenches them until his knuckles begin turning white.

“Was that it?” Hanse asks, his voice sounding all too smug.

Subin breathes in deeply and nods. “Y-Yeah,” he whispers on a stutter, “that was it.”

“Got’cha,” Hanse hums. He runs his hand over the area he hit for a quick second before he lands another slap on Subin.

Subin gasps again, jumping with the force of it. He feels his ears and cheeks starting to burn as some unknown feeling begins churning in his belly’s pit. Oh, he couldn’t believe this was actually happening.

Hanse hits Subin one last time—with Subin curling inward and grabbing onto Hanse’s jeans to ground himself before he lets out any embarrassing sounds—and runs his hand over the area in circles to soothe it. “Huh. Wow. You really do like this,” Hanse says as he observes Subin’s reactions.

“ _Yes._ I—” Subin started to squirm a little as he began to feel himself getting turned on. He thought Hanse must have been able to tell with the way Hanse asked, “Wanna’ get outta’ here?” Subin nodded furiously in response, opting not to speak because he didn’t know how he’d sound, and he didn’t want to be more embarrassed than he already was.

Hanse didn’t say anything regarding it if he noticed though. “Okay, sit up,” he replied. “Lemme’ make him unlock this door, and then we can head over to mine?”

Another nod came from Subin. He still wasn’t trusting his voice.

Hanse only smiled at him and reached out to take his hand.

Subin didn’t think his face could feel any hotter than it already was, but somehow it managed to happen.  
  


* * *

  
  
Hanse opens the door to his room, drags Subin inside, and shuts the door behind them by backing Subin up against it and caging Subin with his arms on either side of Subin’s head. He looks Subin in the eyes with a tiny smirk.

“How-how are you not...bothered by this?” Subin asks through a whisper.

Hanse’s smirk grows wider. “I’ve grown too accustomed to you to give a shit.”

At those words, Subin feels his heart flutter into his throat—especially when he catches Hanse’s eyes flicking down to his lips and back to his eyes. His mind then immediately goes blank with lust and _want._

“Am I allowed to kiss you?” Hanse asks softly as he reaches up with one of his hands and drags the outer part of his index finger across Subin’s right cheekbone.

Subin whines lowly and nods his head, almost hitting the back of his head on the door behind him. “ _Yes_ —fuck— _please._ ”

The little smirk stays on Hanse’s face for a quick second before he leans in and attaches his lips to Subin’s. As soon as they meet, Subin lets out a strangled sounding whimper, and Hanse takes a fistful of the front of Subin’s shirt to pull him in closer.

It’s a hungry liplock. All desire. No control. They kiss like they would never have the chance again. All these years, they’d been ignoring the sexual tension between them. Now that it was finally being addressed, it was like a river’s dam being broken. There was so much urgency and desperation present.

They couldn’t keep their hands off of each other. Hanse pulled on Subin’s shirt like he wanted to tear it off of him. Subin had a fistful of Hanse’s hair after he knocked the beret off of his head. The two of them grinded against one another, their actions beginning to become more lust-driven and less coordinated.

Hanse takes off Subin’s jacket and throws it across the room. Then he starts walking backward with Subin until they hit the edge of his bed. Hanse falls back and pulls Subin with him. They clash teeth, but it doesn’t deter them. Subin’s hands end up on either side of Hanse’s head as Hanse has one hand in a fist, pulling on the collar of Subin’s shirt.

The air is sexually charged. It’s messy. Hot and steamy. They breathe heavily in between every touch and kiss, trying to learn one another's patterns. They lick all around in each other's mouths, becoming accustomed to each other's taste. Hanse likes to use his tongue to lick across Subin’s face and suckle on the outside of his ears. Subin likes to use his lips and teeth, nipping at Hanse’s skin on his neck and kissing the pain away. He even pulls at the lip ring on Hanse’s lip—he’s always loved it even though he’d never verbally voiced it.

This is new territory for the two of them. But they're learning each other so quickly. Subin thinks the fact they're so comfortable with each other contributes to that.

Hanse pulls away from Subin with a gasp for air and smirks. He presses his palm against Subin’s chest and taps a few of his fingers on him twice. “Strip for me,” he breathes out.

Subin swallows nervously and nods. When he gets off Hanse, he begins undressing and doesn't stop until he’s in his underwear.

Hanse points to his briefs with a grin. “Those too.”

Subin’s blush reaches further down his face. But instead of saying so, he continues following his commands. He takes them off until he’s standing stark naked in front of Hanse.

Hanse then looks him up and down with dark and hungry eyes. “C’ mere.”

Subin steps forward, and Hanse puts his hands on Subin’s hips. Then he slowly maneuvers them around Subin and downward until he reaches Subin’s ass and grabs his cheeks. He grins as Subin lets out a soft gasp while slightly jumping. Hanse gives them a tight squeeze and a jiggle before removing his hands. “C’mon. On the bed. On your back too. Head against the pillows.”

Subin follows his directions and begins getting on the bed. He lies on his back and watches as Hanse messes with his drawer. Then he closes his eyes and tries to calm his nerves. A few seconds later, he feels a dip in the bed and then Hanse crawling toward him. He opens his eyes and finds Hanse starting to straddle his hips.

“Are you nervous?” Hanse asks as he stares down at Subin.

“Shouldn’t I be asking _you_ that question since _you_ were the one hesitating in the beginning?”

Hanse laughs. “Fair enough. I just wasn’t sure how to go about it at first. I’ve never done this before, and I definitely didn’t want to accidentally hurt you.”

“Well, that makes two of us,” Subin mumbles.

“Don’t get me wrong, though. I wanna’ do it.”

“For me? Or for you?”

Hanse grins. “The both of us?”

“Yes. Of course. I should’ve known you were gonna’ say that,” Subin says under his breath as he diverts his eyes away from Hanse’s eyes.

“Duh. We know each other so well.”

Subin breathes in deeply as he watches Hanse place his hands on his hips and slowly drag them upward. “Do we really? I mean—wh-what about this?” Subin asks.

“Hm?”

“Did you...did you know about this? That-that I’d be into this? Because even _I_ didn’t know about this. At-at least, n-not until you slapped my—” Subin cuts himself off with another gasp as Hanse playfully flicks one of his nipples.

Hanse smiles, and it looks almost sinister as a mischievous cat. “I’m much more perceptive than you think I am, Subin-ie,” he purrs. “I notice you react to many things you don’t realize you react to.”

“So then, did… You-you knew what I was avoiding you for?”

“No. I knew you were avoiding me. I knew I had done something wrong. But I didn’t connect it to that night. I didn’t think that was the reason you were pushing me away.”

Subin inhales shakily as Hanse squeezes both of his nipples between his fingers. “C-Can you _not_ phrase it like that?” He asks breathlessly.

Hanse smirks. “I think we both know that that’s what it was. But if it makes you feel better—sure.”

Subin looks down at his torso, where Hanse is freely roaming his hands and connecting with any part of the surface of Subin’s skin that he can. “What are you doing?” Subin asks Hanse.

“Getting you riled up,” he replies. “Making you relax. Turning your mind off.” Hanse looks him in the eyes. “Foreplay.”

“Oh,” is all that he can dumbly say to which Hanse chuckles softly at.

“It’s working~,” Hanse whispers through a playful tone.

Subin watches as Hanse scoots back to lean down, his eyes still on Subin’s, and slowly licks a stripe up his hardening cock. In response, Subin grabs onto the sheets beneath him and lets out another shaky exhale. “Y-Yeah. Yep. D-Definitely working.”

Hanse grins before reaching back up to hover above Subin. He stares for a few moments before swooping in to kiss Subin once more. When he pulls away, fully removes himself from atop of Subin and gets off the bed. 

“Okay, so here’s how we’re gonna’ start this,” he says as he walks over to his closet and opens it. “You’re gonna’ pick a safe word that you’re comfortable with and can say anytime if you feel like any of this gets too much for you.” He rummages around inside of the closet for a moment before turning around with a bottle of lube in his hand. “Like I said, I haven’t done this before, so… I’m gonna’ need you to be as vocal as you can.”

“Jaws,” Subin mumbles.

“What?”

 _“Jaws,”_ he repeats louder.

Hanse snorts as he walks back to Subin. “Really? Jaws? The name of your _cat?_ ”

“You just said pick anything I’m comfortable with!” Subin exclaims.

Hanse shakes his head with a smile as he gets on the bed. “Well, I meant something more _intimate,_ but don’t worry. That’s fine.” He looks down over Subin in thought, which makes Subin shiver. “Since this is new to the both of us, I’m...gonna’ do this like I saw in a porn video once.”

Immediately, Subin snorts.

“Don’t laugh!” Hanse whined, but he was also laughing, so it didn’t have much bite behind it than he intended for it to.

“I think even the most serious person in the world would laugh at that,” Subin remarks. “That’s just something you don’t expect to hear someone say.”

“Shh,” Hanse shushes him. “Stop being smart and open your legs.”

“Okay, _daddy,_ ” he replies and bursts into laughter at the way Hanse’s eyes widen out of horror.

“Woah, _listen._ I am open to _a lot_ of things, but that? Is _not_ one of them!” Hanse cries.

“Oh, God. Your face. That was priceless,” Subin wheezes as he begins to get into a comfortable position to spread his legs open and keep them up. “I’m not into that either. I just wanted to see your reaction,” he giggles out.

“Well, I hope it was amusing enough for you,” he grumbles as he settles himself between Subin’s legs.

It doesn’t take Hanse long to open Subin up with the lube. Although, Subin isn’t sure _why_ Hanse is fingering him when he’s supposed to be spanking him. Hanse is slightly more experienced than him regarding it, though, so he doesn’t question him. Even if it was because of a _video,_ Hanse still knew more than he did.

When Hanse is finished, Subin is flushed pink and _very_ turned on. His cock is hard and curved over his abdomen, leaking precum from every time Hanse had teasingly run over his prostate. His heartbeat is slightly above normal as he breathes heavily. His mouth feels a little dry too—from the deep inhales and breathy moans. He watches as Hanse tosses aside the lubricant bottle and lower his legs back onto the bed.

“You ready?” Hanse asks, sounding as affected as Subin feels.

“Yeah,” Subin whispers and sits up.

“Same position like we did earlier?”

Subin nods to confirm. Then he waits for Hanse to get into a position that’s comfortable for him.

He sits near the edge of the bed, propped up against the pillows with one leg on the bed and the other hanging off of the bed. “C’mon,” he says, beckoning Subin over with a hand.

“I’m kinda’ nervous,” Subin admits quietly as he climbs over Hanse’s lap and lies down atop him with his legs hanging off of the bed.

“Don’t worry,” Hanse tries to comfort him. “Remember that you can call it off at any time. Just yell for your cat.”

Subin sighs loudly. “If I wasn’t lying down like this, I would hit you,” he hisses.

Hanse laughs and walks his fingers from one hand up Subin’s back. “Just wanted you to relax,” he hums. He feels Subin shiver and removes his hand. “Too much?” He asks.

“No,” Subin murmurs. “Your hand’s just cold.”

“Ah. That was the hand I fingered you with,” he confesses as he began pressing his fingers into Subin’s back right above his ass, massaging him to loosen his nerves some more.

“I hate you,” Subin breathes out.

“Uh-huh.” Hanse moves his hand down to Subin’s ass and drags his palm over it in circles. “I’m gonna’ start now.”

Subin nods his head and lies his hands flat on the bed. “Go on,” he whispers. When Hanse lands the first hit against him, he jumps with the force of it along with a soft gasp. _“Fuck.”_

“You good—”

 _“Yes,”_ Subin immediately interrupts through an exhale of air. “ _Yes._ Keep going.”

With Subin’s consent, Hanse continues. He starts off slow, one hit on both cheeks with a three-second interval. Subin’s breathing had already started getting heavier and Hanse could feel Subin’s warmth going higher with every second that passed.

When a minute went by, Hanse began to speed up. Instead of one slap per cheek, he moved to two slaps and dismissed worrying about the interval between each. At that, Subin started to let out bigger exhales of breath and louder moans that resembled whimpering. He stopped trying to keep his head up and let it go still on the bed.

After another minute, the slap count increased again. Hanse started doing three slaps per cheek. It got even more of a reaction from Subin. He was clenching his toes and letting out loud _“ah’s”_ every few seconds. His ass was finally beginning to turn red too.

“So what’s this like?” Hanse decides to ask mid-slapping.

“Interesting— _ah!_ Hnn~” Subin answers but it’s cut off with a moan that morphs into some laughter because Hanse wiggles one of his fingers from his free hand into Subin’s asshole. “You fucker,” he whines loudly when Hanse immediately finds his prostate and presses against it.

Hanse grins mischievously. “I’m very interested,” he responds. Then he continues to put in one finger at a time, spanking Subin for a couple of minutes between each addition of a finger until he’s four fingers deep.

By that time, Subin is absolutely livid. He’s sweating profusely, letting out swears every few seconds. His toes keep clenching and unclenching as his legs squirm across Hanse’s lap. He can’t keep his head still anymore and his hands switch from gripping the bed sheets tightly to not gripping anything at all. His moans are super loud, resonating throughout the room and bouncing off the walls. He can’t help it with the way Hanse is quite literally abusing his prostate.

Subin doesn’t know how long they’ve been doing this, but to him, it feels like it’s been three hours. He’s sure it’s actually been closer to twenty minutes or so, though. It doesn’t really matter how long it’s been. Either way, it feels like it’s been forever—even with the mini breaks they had in between. And he’s not sure whether he’d like it to end or not.

He’s getting closer to climax with every hit to his ass. The pressure against his prostate is helping, no doubt. But it’s the contact with his skin that’s exciting him. Hanse’s question from earlier— _”Are you a masochist?”_ —suddenly pops up in his head and it makes him cry out because _, of course,_ Hanse would be right. _Of course._

“You close?” Hanse asks, peering down at the way Subin starts wiggling above his thighs uncontrollably.

Subin moans particularly loudly and furiously nods his head with his eyes shut tight. “I— _fuuuck_! Ye-yes! _Holy shit._ Yes!”

Hanse chuckles. “Yeah? Go on, then. Cum for me,” he presses. “Cum for me, baby.”

“Oh, my God! H-Hyung! _Fuck!_ ” Subin shouts. “D-Don’t stop,” he pleads next.

“Don’t worry. I won’t,” Hanse promises.

“No, I mean—” Subin whimpers loudly and grabs onto the sheets as his body shakes. He’s so so _so_ fucking close. That fiery sensation in the pit of his belly is growing bigger and bigger. In no time, he’s going to cum. And he’s going to be so fucking loud that it already embarrasses him even though it hasn’t happened yet. “I want—keep talking to me, please,” he begs.

“Oh? You wanna’ hear my voice?”

Subin can hear the tone in his voice shift a pitch down and it sends shivers up his spine. His hips begin chasing Hanse’s fingers as he gets more desperate to cum. _“Yes,”_ he cries out. “Yes. Yes. _Yes._ Please. _Please,_ hyung, _please._ ”

“Wow, you’re really so into this,” Hanse says with awe. “Show me how much you love this,” he continues. “Show me how much you’re desperate for this. Show me how much you need it.”

“Hyung,” Subin sobs. “ _Hyung. Hyung. Hyung. Hyung._ I’m so close. I want it. It feels so fucking good. I-I can’t control myself, fuck. I wanna’ cum so bad. I’m really so close. I’m—I want—I want _you._ I’m fucking— _ooh, my fucking Gooooood!_ ”

Subin shouts as Hanse begins finger fucking him _hard._ And if he thought the spankings from earlier were strong, these were _much_ stronger. There was no way he was going to last more than a minute with that. He couldn’t even get out any more words. All that continuously left his mouth were sharp inhales and choked gasps.

Thirty seconds later, his eyes were rolling back on one last loud, deep intake of breath. The dam holding back the river broke into pieces and waves of water crashed out. Subin seized all his movements, though, his body still shook with the intensity of his ejaculation. He couldn’t tell how much he came, but he knew it was more than he’d ever experienced before. Hell, this entire situation was something he’d never experienced before.

As soon as his climax finished washing over him, he immediately fell limp across Hanse. His breathing was erratic and he felt _so_ fucking hot. He was also extremely dumbfounded by how much he enjoyed it. He had thought not that long ago that he wasn’t sure whether he had wanted this to end or not. Now he thinks maybe he could go another round.

When Subin’s breath starts to even out, Hanse carefully pulls his fingers out from his heat and hovers over Subin’s frame to kiss his cheek as he rubs his other hand up and down Subin’s ass to bring comfort. “Was that good?” He murmurs as he buries his face into the crook of Subin’s neck.

“Honestly, I didn’t know what to expect,” Subin admits through small pants of breath. “But that was really fucking great.” He starts to sit up and Hanse lifts himself off him to let him get up. He fully slides off of Hanse’s lap and sits on the floor in between Hanse’s legs. Then he looks up at Hanse as he runs his hands up Hanse’s legs. “Do you want me to suck you off?” He asks shyly.

With a smile, Hanse shakes his head. “This night was all about you, Subin. I can get my turn another time,” he replies. He pulls Subin off of the floor and back onto his lap. But this time, he wraps Subin’s legs around his waist and falls sideways so that they lay on the bed together. 

Subin cuddles up closer to Hanse by putting one arm around Hanse’s neck and starts tracing imaginary circles on Hanse’s chest. It’s quiet between the two of them for a while. But it isn’t awkward. It’s a sweet and comforting silence that starts to lull them to sleep. But before Subin can drift off, he mumbles, “I still want to punt Sejun-hyung and Chan-hyung into outer space.”

The suddenness of Subin’s confession makes Hanse laugh loudly. “I’ll help you,” he whispers back as he smiles like a fool in love.

**Author's Note:**

> I apologize for the length of this fic... I hope whoever submitted this prompt enjoyed 13k+ of Subin being a complete idiot. I may or may not have pushed my own tendencies of GAD onto Subin here. LOL I also want to punt MYSELF off of this universe for making this so long. T _ T


End file.
